Alila Settling In

Once we got back from Paris, we wasted no time in bringing this little one home! The next day I went out to Long Island to pick her up. She is already settling in so well! At first Siena was a little wary of a new visitor, especially such a little one, but she adapted quickly to her role as big sister. Siena has been a huge help - Alila has already taken after her and is learning things like house-training so much faster than it took us to train Siena. They also play together so cute. Alila is sleeping through the night, snuggling, and learning what to chew and what not to chew (she really likes to chew my hair, and pillows... we're trying to stop those habits ;). Her personality is a little different from Siena already. Alila doesn't like to be picked up, and she prefers sitting next to us to sitting on our laps. She seems to prefer Siena to both Nate and I... but Nate a little more than me, haha. To be honest while it's more work to have a second dog, it feels so natural because they have each other and it makes us so happy to see them bond! It also makes us really happy to know instead of leaving Siena home alone, which makes her sad, we can turn on our puppy cam and see the two of them snuggling on a pillow together.

We will see how the next few weeks go - Alila will get her first puppy visit when my sister and her dog Missy visit for the holidays! We can't wait to see how that goes. See below some of our favorite pictures so far:

We love being a family of four! We love our sweet little Alila!

Meet Alila!

Exciting news from the Schweers! We have adopted a puppy - a little sister for our Sweet Siena! She is a cream-colored dachshund who is roughly 8 weeks old (she will be 9 weeks old when we bring her home next week). We have heard she is sweet and super snuggly and she'll be a welcome addition to our household!

Nate came up with her name - we will call her Alila. It is where we stayed on our honeymoon in Bali this summer - super fun because it continues our travel theme and has great meaning for us. The name Alila comes from Sanskrit meaning surprise - which is perfect since we did decide quickly to get her (although we had been talking about it since our wedding).

So - why another puppy? Another dachshund, at that? Well we've learned in the past two years that we've had Siena that dachshunds are true pack animals. Siena loves to be with us and hates being alone - as a result even going to work, or out to dinner, is hard because she looks so sad. Our vet said that a lot of dogs feel this way, but dachshunds more so that most. We think she'll take to being a big sister well in time, and once Alila grows up they will have each other. Most of all, having Siena has brought us so much joy and happiness, we just love having a dog and know that Alila will bring us equal joy. We can't wait for her to come home next weekend - after we get home from PARIS!

Stay tuned for an update on Paris & Alila coming home next weekend!

A Little Love Note to My Husband

This has been one of the best weeks I can remember. I love my new job and coworkers - I feel like I'm finally somewhere where I'll stay for many years and learn and grow. It feels like the wait was so worth it. Not unlike me and Nate getting back together after so many years apart. My first week on the job, someone asked me in a fun Q&A kind of way, what's something surprising about you? And I said "I tell people my husband and I never fight, and they don't believe me." That answer, of course, was met with a bit of skepticism. While it's true, it wasn't always the case. Rewind to Nate and I in high school and college and it seemed like that's all we did! But when we got together years ago, it just seemed like we had matured out of it. Our feelings, our relationship began with this deep sensitivity that while opinions and disagreements could be expected, fighting was something we weren't willing to participate in. And, to this day, I cannot recall more than a time or two that I even felt like prompted to fight. Our relationship is built on friendship, most importantly kindness and consistency. My husband is my partner, my best friend, my confidant. I can tell him literally anything and he doesn't judge me. There is never a day that goes by that I doubt that he cherishes me and respects me. Many days I wonder how we got so lucky. I think we both knew at a very young age that our connection was something special. I don't think we were able to process and appreciate it until much later in life as we matured and lived our lives. I feel grateful, every day, that we continue to choose each other and build our lives together. So as I reflect on a wonderful first week at my new job, I remember my greatest supporter and wanted to say how much I love my sweet husband.

Let It Go? Letting Go...

So here’s a fun fact: I am an ENFJ every time I take a Myers-Briggs based test. It’s one of the rare personality types (another fun fact!) accounting for around 2% of the total population (when there are only 16 types ). Here’s a quick summary of the ENFJ personality type from PersonalityPage:

ENFJ: The Giver. Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle, and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues, and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others, and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

If you’re nerdy like me, here’s a link to the whole profile description (http://bit.ly/TheENFJ) and you can click around and read the descriptions of other types. Another fun fact: my personality type is the type that likes these personality profiles because I love learning about how other people process information and make decisions!

This also makes me really bad at… you guessed it… letting go. People, places, memories. Things become part of your history and your narrative. I wrote an earlier post (http://bit.ly/1tRsrSt) that talked about how I approach friendships and that’s part of the struggle. Even when people are out of your life, they still go on leading their own. My mom has famously called me “the doggy with the chew toy” – I’m just not very good at letting go, saying goodbye, or change in general.

So the question I’m thinking about today is – how to get better at letting go? And my conclusion (I’m not “the thinker” personality type so this is probably not a huge revelation to the rest of you as it is to me) is that I need to make better choices to better let go. I need to stop “picking at the scab.” As Elsa says in the song Let It Go I need to get to where “the fears that once controlled me don’t get to me at all.”

How to make better choices? Well, I’m going to stop picking at the scabs. I’m going to focus on the present. I’m still a planner and I’ve got a lot of things on my mind for 2015, but for now I want to enjoy the moment and every single day. I want to make better choices every day so that I’m enjoying the present, not at the expense of the future, but I’m going to stop what if-ing myself over the past. 2014 has been one of the best, most challenging, fascinating years of my life. This is today’s perspective:

New Job Announcement!

After two great years working at the March of Dimes as the national Manager of Marketing and Social Media, I have decided to leave in November for an incredible new opportunity. I am really proud of the work I’ve done with March of Dimes. I’ve had great supervisors and I worked on exciting campaigns, including World Prematurity Day and March for Babies. I also had great coworkers and friendships develop during my two years at March of Dimes. It will be hard to say goodbye, but I’m so excited for the next challenge!

I am the new Assistant Director of Corporate Partnerships at U.S. Fund for UNICEF! UNICEF is the UN agency that focuses on the well-being of children in every country around the world, with a special focus on reaching those in the greatest need. The U.S. Fund, also called "UNICEF USA" is the amazing U.S. organization that helps raise funds for UNICEF’s mission while also engaging the U.S. in advocacy and education around UNICEF's mission. At U.S. Fund for UNICEF I’ll be responsible for managing key corporate partnerships as well as growing and expanding them. It will be fun, innovative, and creative work. I cannot wait to start and meet my new team! I feel confident that it is a perfect fit and a place where I will be happy in the years to come!

It is a blessing on top of an incredible year. I am happily married, I celebrated the weddings of many friends, we traveled to new countries, and now this incredible opportunity - the work I went to grad school to do that I'm truly passionate and excited about. I could not feel happier, or more lucky, and I can't wait to hit the ground running and work hard for UNICEF's mission.

Quick Trip to Gainesville

First weekend in September Nate and I had a quick trip down to Gainesville mostly to spend time with our families. With Mama Doris passing away, I spent most of the weekend with my parents. Nate's sister and nephews were in town for Jaxson's baptism - and we were honored to represent him as his godparents. I also got to meet baby Leah Elizabeth Smart - the second daughter of one of my friends & bridesmaids, Janeen, and her husband Ryan (the minister who married Nate and I!). And no trip to Gainesville would be complete without quality time with my best friend Courtney Rochelle. Here are a few pics from the weekend:

Gainesville always feels like home to us! We are so thankful for our family and friends that make it so.

Life Lessons on Friendship – Photos, Memories, and Perspective

What is it to be a friend? There are a lot of common answers I think you’d find to this question. And a lot of discrepancies. At my engagement party, my mom said to a group of people “Oh Dana could have had twenty bridesmaids. She has collected friends and kept them better than anyone I’ve ever met.”

It’s an interesting compliment, if you consider the word “collect.” Knowing my mother, she means it genuinely. But I know perhaps on the outside, it looks like too often I mention “best friends” here and there. That I “collect” friends simply to have them. My best friends in NYC. My best friends from high school. My best friends from PiPhi. The truth is all my friendships are unique and special to me. I also believe that friendships ebb and flow… but I don’t pretend to be an expert, or have all the answers.

The last year has, unfortunately, seen the end of a few friendships for me. To me, each person is unique, and even with fantastic friends I have mourned the loss of some others. Some deeply, and painfully. I try, to the best of my ability, to stay friends with people who have touched my life meaningfully. It is not without its challenges.

When I was in middle school I really had no friends. I had a tendency to “smother” – and as a result, girls pulled away. I can’t blame them for that. I was born extraordinarily sensitive. When I was in preK, my mom was called by my teacher for a meeting. My mom sensed this was some kind of trouble. Instead, the teacher said – Dana came up to me at lunch today. She said someone in the class was struggling with lessons. She said that he needed extra help, but probably was too shy to ask for it. She said could I help him, but not let him know she said to because she did not want him to be embarrassed or ashamed. The teacher told her – I know adults without that level of sensitive empathy. I have never seen it in a four year old.

Despite that empathy I shared a likewise unparalleled veil of naivety. I fell victim to every conceivable middle school prank. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t have friends that I would lie to my parents about having plans and ride my bike around the neighborhood alone. I made up stories about school trips, since usually I was walking around with chaperones or people I didn’t know. I never had a group, I never felt like I fit in. I spent lunch periods in a teacher’s portable dusting chalkboards, thankful just to have somewhere to be. I remember, acutely, wanting just one friend in the world. I promised God if I ever had one friend I would be the best friend anyone could ask for.

And so I did. I struggled of course – in 9^th grade I had a group of friends that quickly disbanded. My paranoia of being left out was irksome to many, understandably so. But a sweet 13 year old girl named Courtney had enough patience to stay by my side the next 4 years of high school – and life after that. And every friend I made, I kept the promise. I remembered birthdays, I sent cards. I made trips to see friends who lived far away. Throughout high school, throughout college.  I have been disappointed, I have felt sometimes like I give too much, but it is also who I am.

There is another element to my friendships that I am notorious for – pictures! I have adopted the unofficial position of group Historian for all of my groups of friends (and now with instagram I’m arguably even worse). My interest in cameras began at a young age. Even with my family I liked to volunteer to take pictures. I played with my mom’s film camera when I was only in elementary school. On trips I always took a Kodak disposable camera or two, always got double prints, always gave the second set of prints away. As I grew older, it became a way to become and stay friends with people. Look at us here – look at this memory we made. Mostly it was about trying to connect. It still is – I love commemorating every “Throwback Thursday” with an old picture. Memories are so special to me, and worth treasuring.

Some friendships ebb and flow, I truly believe that. And I believe in forgiveness. I also believe there are times where you simply have to walk away. It’s not easy to decide which course is best. I have found that trusting my instinct has been the most important thing, and giving without expecting something in return to be equally important even if it is a bit harder in practice.

Friendships are a two way street and require work, there’s no doubt about that. But they should be effortless in my opinion, in that the desire to stay in touch, the kindness you show one another, simply wanting to be in touch, be it every day, every week, every month, or every year – whatever works for you.

I think I will always be the friendship Historian. I always remember how we met, insisting on pictures early on, capturing the memories. At times, I have annoyed most of my friends with these requests. But photos have always been how I connect, how I helped find my place, how I helped learn how to be a friend and to find real friends. Over time, I’ve even had some friends thank me for the rabid early-days shots – for more than a few, I was responsible for the first picture of my friend and her eventual boyfriend/husband.

I want to add that I am so thankful for the friends I have made, even the ones I have lost. Sometimes things come full circle and you find yourself in touch yet again with someone you haven’t spoken to in years. They say a picture is worth a thousand words – for me they are worth many special friends J

In Loving Memory of Mama Doris

As many of you readers may have seen on Facebook or heard from me directly, our beautiful Mama Doris passed away suddenly in her sleep last week on July 7th. She was 85 years old. It was shocking for us in many ways. First, her health was better than it had been in years. Last fall she had surgery to remove a non-cancerous tumor growing behind her eyes that was obstructing her vision. After it was removed she was like a new person - reading again, more energy, her memory was better - everyone was thrilled at the dramatic progress she made.

She made it to New York City last month for our wedding. She chatted with my friends, met Nate's family, was beaming and so happy, glowing (everyone said). My last memory with her was hugging her and kissing her cheek as she left our wedding reception. It's a happy memory that I'll never forget.

Mama Doris, as her nickname indicates, was more than a grandmother to me. She was like a second mom. There are few childhood memories I have without her and Daddy Quent in them. We spent two to three weeks every summer at their farm in Kentucky. We played with baby chickies, rode horses, fed the goats, peeled green beans, ate cherry tomatoes right off the vine, learned to knit and to cross stitch. It sounds like a fantasy and in many ways it was - it was the true farm life and we loved it as much as the week we'd spend in NYC with my dad's dad and stepmom. Mama Doris and Daddy Quent also never missed Christmas. They drove down every year to celebrate with us and, after Daddy Quent passed away, Mama Doris moved to Gainesville so she never missed an event - high school and college graduations, holidays, our engagement party - you name it, she was there.

It is always hard to lose a loved one. If they are sick and you see it coming, you get the chance to say goodbye but you also watch them suffer, helplessly as they can lose their memories and ability to take care of themselves. When someone passes suddenly, it creates a vacuum of loss and shock. A numbness takes over, a disbelief that it really happened. Yet to know Mama Doris passed away in her sleep, feeling better than she had in years, knowing she did not suffer, is a blessing. It's the way so many of us wish and hope we might go when our time comes. It was the best for her and while it was hard for us, it helps to keep that perspective.

Mama Doris had a wonderful life. She was loved by everyone she met. At just 17 she married her soulmate, my grandfather Quentin Payton, and had 55 beautiful years of marriage with him before he passed away in September 2001. Even after 55 years their eyes still sparkled when they saw or spoke of each other. Mama Doris's still did even in recent weeks and months. She missed him every day, and now they are together. They left us all an example of true love that inspires me in my own marriage.

It is impossible to qualify how I'll miss her. How she always remembered stories from our childhood, how she kept Daddy Quent alive through her memories and recounting past adventures. How she was mischievous and independent, strong willed yet nurturing and gentle. How there was no secret that her family was everything to her. She was a wonderful daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She was a friend to all. We love you, Mama Doris.

Our Wedding: The Highlights

June 7, 2014 is a day we will never forget. It was absolutely perfect, from the prep to the weather to enjoying every moment of the day. I was up by 5am and we didn't crash until 1am that night, but it was all worth it! Our incredible photographer, Steve, captured all the special moments. Rather than overexplain everything, I'll just post a few of our absolute favorites.

Here's to the next chapter.... cheers!

Where I've Been - Literally & Figuratively

Hey there blog readers! Are there any of you still out there? I have really not been good about blogging since April. In my defense I had a little wedding happening, plus two bachelorette parties and a two week honeymoon! Physically, I've been traveling. After Phoenix I had Orlando, followed by our wedding in NYC, and finally visiting three countries on our honeymoon. I’ve got lots to catch up on!

I've also been thinking, and I've realized I want to have a new take on the blog. While I love recapping all our adventures, part of my neglect is that I post most photos of these adventures on Facebook, making a blog recap a bit duplicative. If I'm going to keep up the blog, I want it to feel fresh and fun! I’m planning to refocus the blog a bit more on my thoughts and goals, being a little more open with personal struggles and hoping, through this, to connect more to you readers and offer more than simple travel summaries (of course you can still count on those!).

So I invite you to sit back, relax, and hopefully enjoy my new approach to the blog!

Thanksgiving 2013!

Every year, Thanksgiving is a little bit different. Last year we spent it with great friends. The year before, we went to the Macy's parade. Our first year, we spent it with my sister.

Thanksgiving is funny - for so many people, it is a time that they reunite with family. After careful analysis, I determined the last year my entire family (mom, dad, sister, and me) spent Thanksgiving together was November 2004. That's nine consecutive years where we've been apart - at least one if not more have been away from Gainesville. The first year, 2005, it was Jenni - on a band trip. The next year it was my dad. 2007 I was in Italy. And so on. It's become a holiday which is open for Nate and I to establish our own traditions - or to not, as we see fit.

We have a few - we make cranberry brie bites and get starbucks lattes (this is our third year doing that!). This year we made a turkey, macaroni and cheese casserole, swiss and gruyere green beans, and pumpkin bread too. It was a great day and I have so much to be thankful for. I am marrying my best friend and the love of my life next year. We are healthy and happy. We have so many comforts in life that most people in the world do not. Our families are also healthy and happy. We have good relationships with our sisters and we have the most amazing friends. We get to travel, and we will be doing a lot of travel in 2014.

It was a great Thanksgiving, and it's going to be an even better New Year!

The Travel Bug

Soooooo it's been a slow year.

Not in terms of life! Nate and I got engaged in March and it's been a whirlwind year planning plus staying busy working (and I have mastered a 3 hour daily commute). On top of that, our sweet puppy Siena keep us on our toes! No, it's been a slow year in terms of travel. For me, it is the slowest year since freshman year of college. That's really saying something! Part if my struggle is that I've been blessed to be able to travel so much and on some level until now I've taken it for granted.

I traveled to the Dominican Republic in January, and Nate and I returned together in May. We also went to a wedding in Charlotte, North Carolina in March. I returned home twice (coming up on three times): my 10 year reunion in June, a long weekend in August, and we are heading home for Christmas in just a few weeks. So I haven't been stuck per se, but compared to years past, which took us to Italy, Canada, England, and Costa Rica, it has felt like a quieter year - particularly this fall.

We have been gearing up for 2014 which is going to be a huge year for us. We start the year with our engagement party in Gainesville in January, a dear friend's wedding in Sarasota in February, and I will go to a bachelorette party for one of my engaged bridesmaids in April! After that it's rapid fire: My bachelorette in Orlando in May, our wedding in June, followed by our two week honeymoon to Singapore, Malaysia, and Indonesia. We don't stop there - we have another wedding to attend in July in Charlotte! And that's just through summer - I'm sure our fall will fill up quickly!

It's been a learning experience for me. I've chosen to focus on my health, my perpetual struggle with my anxiety, focusing on channeling it into positive activities like working out, cooking, going for walks, and of course wedding planning! I feel like I've been playing the waiting game and it's been harder than I anticipated. I've always had an upcoming "adventure" - be that a weekend away, a vacation with Nate or my family, or a work trip. Travel has always enriched my life, and it's a shared interest between Nate and I now. I'm reminding myself that it's worth the wait - I have never been to the Southeast Asia region, and I know it is going to be filled with amazing experiences and memories.

Until then... I'm looking forward to a quiet Thanksgiving, just me and Nate and Siena, followed by the most magical time of year in NYC when the city comes alive with white lights and Christmas decorations. We end the year with a long, much-needed week at home with family and then ringing in the new year with our best friends in the city. (I'll be ringing it in dressed in something shiny and new! ;)

Looking forward to all the things to come! Stay tuned...

Siena Turns ONE!

Happy Birthday SIENA! Our sweet dachshund puppy turned one year old on Labor Day (September 2nd). Even though we got her in October it was still hard to believe the tiny little puppy we brought home is already a year old (and technically not a "puppy" anymore - although Nate and I show no signs of stopping referring to her as a puppy anytime soon).  Siena had a very special birthday thanks to all of our amazing friends in NYC. Our good friends Janie and Russ came over with a birthday bandana for Siena and she played with their Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Charlie, for an hour! All the puppies got puppy "chocolate chip cookies" (not real chocolate - just puppy treats - although Nate was still tempted to try one!). After Charlie left, my friend Julie came over with her cockapoo Kobe to play with Siena. Siena and Kobe are about the same size (Kobe is smaller, but is a little taller whereas Siena is longer). They played together great! After a while they were both pretty tired and hung out on the couch (see the bottom photo). Overall it was a great day. Neither Nate or I have ever had a dog as a pet before and Siena has made us feel like a family. She is just so sweet, snuggly, funny, and she makes every day better. We're so thankful she's our little pup pup!

10 Year High School Reunion!

This past weekend was my 10 year high school reunion. I'm really glad I got the opportunity to go - it had been such a long time since I'd seen so many people, and it was the first time seeing my friends since I got engaged! I was lucky that most of my high school friends were able to make it! I was happily reunited with my best friend and Maid of Honor, Courtney, as well as three of my bridesmaids - Ashley, Janeen, and Jessica. The reunion was a whole weekend of events - I got to go to Friday and Saturday night's events. Friday's was a mixer and it was a blast! The music was throwback to early 2000 hits, reminding all of us of our high school days! I was reunited with several friends from high school including Amanda and Julie (in the picture below).

Saturday night was the main event! There were a couple slideshows, talking about what grads are doing now and their favorite memories from high school. There were also a few fun "alumni superlatives" - a take off of senior superlatives. I won "most traveled" for my world travels (22 countries and counting!!). We also had a super cute photo booth with big "2003" balloons that we could take fun pictures together. I was so proud of my friend Ashley for organizing the entire thing, she did an amazing job! Here's my favorite picture from the weekend: Me, Ashley, and Janeen in the photo booth!

I can't even imagine how much life will change before our 20 year reunion! So much has happened in the last 10 years. I'm so grateful for my enduring friendships with my friends that will be part of my wedding to Nate (who I also met in high school)! While I've changed a lot, I will always be so thankful for the four years I spent at GHS! Go hurricanes!!