Meeting the Twins' Family

Today was my last day at school, but it was also the first time I met the parents of my twins, Paulo and Paskali, that I write about so frequently. The father came to school to thank me for the backpacks for the twins. He invited me to their house so I went after school with the twins and my teacher.

It has bothered me for some time how hard my teacher is on the twins, I feel like he picks on them. It was an eye-opener for both of us to see where they live. Their father rents a small room in a traditional mud-brick house with tin roof (no windows). The whole family lives and sleeps in one room. The parents share a double bed and the twins sleep on foam cushions on the floor. Their school clothes I always noticed were torn, buttons missing, dirty, and their personal clothes are even more worn. They wear pants that hardly fit and shirts that have tears and holes to where you wouldn’t hardly recognize them as articles of clothing.

The parents were kind and generous, offering me traditional Tanzanian chai and bread. It is clear that these are the poorest students at my school yet the parents find a way to pay the 5,000 shillings per student per month (a little less than 5 USD) for them to go to school. It makes me feel like the extra attention I spent trying to get them to write letters and focus was worthwhile. I think these twins just need extra attention and love, they have little resources and a very poor family. I am hopeful that they will continue with their education in the years to come.

Picture: The Mbaga family – the mother Fatuma, the father Joseph, and the twins Paulo (in red) and Paskali

Last Day at School

Today was my last day at placement. It was really hard to say goodbye to my kids. In 3 months here I feel like they have become a part of my life, they are not just cute little kids but they are little people that I know and love. I feel like I really know them – who is shy, who is outgoing, who is smart, who has trouble. I know their family situations and all of their names. Most didn’t understand I wasn’t coming back – they kept saying “kesho!” which is like “see you tomorrow.” But I am leaving so that is the reality.

The church and school got me a gift – a beautiful conga – and presented it to me at the end of the day. I was moved by the gesture, especially since they have so little and yet gave me such a nice gift. I felt progress with my students – we finished the alphabet today and their handwriting has really improved! I may not have taught them much, but at least that is something I am proud of.

Tomorrow I leave for the USA – I fly from Dar es Salaam to Doha, Qatar where I stay the night. The next day I fly to Washington D.C. where my mom will pick me up and drive to North Carolina. Sunday we drive to Florida where I will be for 2 weeks.

Picture: The Minister of the Church and Cook presenting me with the conga. I’m also holding lightness because she was crying from falling down earlier.

Sijali's Story

Sijali is a beautiful 41 year old woman who is living with HIV that has progressed to AIDS. I met her 3 weeks ago and have had several visits with her. She has been married 3 times and has 5 children from those relationships. All three men are still alive but she now lives at home with her mother. All her children are grown up and live in Dar es Salaam although they come and visit her. She has 3 brothers but 2 have died – one in a fight over a woman, the other from intoxication of being drunk. She says she has too many sisters to count, over 10 at least.

What struck me about Sijali was how frankly she discussed things – she lives with her mother because her mother went and took her from the husband who wasn’t taking proper care of her, she wasn’t taking her ARV medication and thus getting more sick. Once she recovered she went back to him and the same thing happened again, only this time she got TB, a respiratory infection. She is back home with the mother but weakened significantly by the dual medications of ARV and TB – so much so that even trying to eat is strenuous. The mother takes care of her but one eye is burned shut, so she only sees through one eye. Additionally, because Sijali is immobile she’s acquired a fungus on her feet and neck that have caused the feet in particular to swell, the skin stretching across bumpy swollen lumps on both feet.

Charles and I stayed with her a while, hearing her story, and also explaining to her who I am and why I came to see her. We checked her CD4 count and she’s doing okay and hopefully it will go up as she continues to take her medication. The hospital is changing her medication to a different ARV so that will complement the TB medication and not weaken her so badly. We gave her an ointment for the fungus and next week I will go back with body oil to massage the feet and hopefully keep the skin from tearing – if the skin tears it may become infected and since she has progressed to AIDS even a minor infection may cause her to die.

My last visit with Sijali we talked more – she says she wants to get better and doesn’t want to live in pain. She has improved in terms of mobility, once a week she goes to the market. It still takes her time – as much as 5 minutes to stand then walk across the room. We laughed as I explained through Charles what an airplane is and how it takes so long to get back to America. We talked to her mother about Barack Obama – she cannot believe he has black skin. Once more, she can’t believe mzungu (white people) voted for him! I think she was encouraged though, to hear me talk about how he loves the people of the world and America.

It is sad at times but I am glad I’m getting the experience of working with people like Sijali and sharing their stories with all of you.

Mwajuma's Story

A week ago I met Mwajuma, a woman who is extremely poor. She lives on the porch of someone’s house – outside, on a rope threaded cot with no blankets or walls. A few months ago, she was bitten by a rat and became infected to the point of elephantitis. Her foot is swollen 3 inches deep on the bottom, 4 inches on the top. Only the first two toes are still there, the rest are indistinguishable from the swollen foot. We took her to the hospital and she needs to go to the national hospital in Tanzania. She has no one to take her there – her daughter died from cancer, has no husband, and her 4 grandchildren are in boarding school (secondary school at a government school so it is free for them).

She said to me today, my last visit with her, that sometimes she wants to give up. She thinks maybe it is better to die than to live in pain – she has just now developed a fungus that is eating the skin between her fingers on her right hand. This breaks my heart, not because I haven’t heard people that might feel that way, but it was the first time someone said it to me, and meant it. I told her never give up, and to keep trying. She is a very friendly, jovial woman and she is not HIV positive. I hope to hear her future improves even as I leave Tanzania.

Picture: Mwajuma cooking in front of her porch

Donations to the School

Last Thursday the packages sent by my family and Courtney FINALLY arrived! There were 5 boxes in all so there was a lot to sort through – pencils, pens, colored pencils, crayons, stamps, stickers, construction paper, soccer balls, flashcards, and books! I was like a kid on Christmas opening those boxes!

Monday was the best day – bringing everything to school and seeing the look on my kids’ faces! Five of my kids – Paulo, Paskali, Alice, Saidi, and Naifati received backpacks. They were carrying their school supplies every day in plastic bags ripped and broken. All of them, especially Naifati were so surprised and excited. The twins were practically in shock – I don’t think they’ve ever gotten gifts. Paskali wore his backpack around the rest of the day – he refused to take it off! I also wrote each of their names on the backpacks so that they would know that the backpack was theirs.

My kids each got pencils and pens of their own. The oldest kids who will be starting Standard 1 at the primary schools in January received the bright composition books, my younger kids got the notepads. The crayons, colored pencils, balls, flashcards, and books will stay at school for all of them to share. They did get to color and play with the balls and they were so excited. What they were actually MOST excited about were the pencil sharpeners! I’ve mentioned before, but they never have pencil sharpeners so they have to sharpen with their teeth. Between the boxes my family and Courtney sent, they now have over 10 for the whole class! Some of the items will stay at CCS – the construction paper from my parents, the loose lined paper from Courtney, and a couple books – so that future volunteers can use those things at their schools too.

My dad also included a soccer ball pump so that is safe in the office at the school, but as the soccer balls get used and get deflated, now they have a way to fill them back up! I even taught Abdul, one of my kids, how to use it! I really love this because it’s sustainable – hopefully my school can use those soccer balls for years to come! I gave out a bunch of the stickers for my kids to play with too, which they promptly stuck all over themselves! They are really hilarious, I just love them.

It was a wonderful day and my kids were so appreciative. BIG HUGE thank you to my mom, dad, sister Jenni, Mama Doris, and Courtney for supporting me and my kids and sending boxes – that are not cheap to send to Tanzania in the first place – with no guarantee that they’d get here. I love and thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

Picture: Me with all 36 of my students after they got all their school supplies!

Weekend in Zanzibar

I spent my last weekend in Tanzania relaxing on the island of Zanzibar! We had a wonderful time! The weather was perfect the whole time – sunny, a little breezy, highs in the 80s. The water there is ethereal blue and clear as pool water.

Friday we woke up in beautiful Kendwa. During the day we relaxed, lay on the beach, and went for walks. That evening we watched the sun set on the Indian Ocean. The colors were incredible – bright orange, luminous pink, burnt yellow, and firey red.

Saturday a large group of us – 10 volunteers – went snorkeling on an island off the east coast of the island called Mnemba. It’s known to be one of the best places to snorkel and/or scuba dive. We had a blast! We saw dolphins, eels, angel fish, zebra fish, sea urchins, and beautiful coral. We had an underwater photographer with us so we also have some great pictures!

Sunday me, Carlee, Adam and Kristina headed to Stonetown. We bargain shopped for a while and had a delicious lunch at Kidudo, a little place in the heart of Stonetown. I bought some mneche (not sure of spelling) – turquoise colored stone carved into jewelry.

It was the perfect way to spend my last weekend in Tanzania!

Picture: me underwater in the coral reef!

Feeding the Triplets: Parts I & II

Feeding the triplets was an adventure! The first day we showed up with grapes – fruit in an attempt to meet their nutrition needs. The triplets were still a little unsure of me – this mzungu taking pictures and bringing strange food! Well I was feeling on top of the world showing up with grapes but it turned out not to be as simple as I thought.

The triplets had never had grapes before and so were scared of them! Despite their older siblings, Charles, me, and their mother eating the grapes, they refused to try them. Instead, they threw them on the ground. I was so discouraged – here I thought I was helping and instead the food was going to waste because I didn’t think about the fact that they are babies and picky eaters and I couldn’t make them try it!

So instead Charles and I sat with the triplets and fed them their dinner – ugali and peas. The smaller one, Kevin, must have been sick because he was in my lap eating one minute, and then threw up all of the food he had just eaten. This worried me because he is already the smallest of the remaining triplets (and like I mentioned in a previous post, the 4th baby died from malaria and diarrhea). The mother cleaned him up but we were still concerned.

The next day we returned with bananas – food that the babies have tried and like – to try again with the nutrition and also to check on baby Kevin. The babies were finally warming up to me – Kennedy let me feed him and David played peek-a-boo with me. Kevin was wrapped up on his mom’s back – she had taken him to the hospital and he tested negative for malaria so they put him on amoxicillin to fight whatever bacteria was making him sick.

Lesson learned: even good intentions need to be thought out! Thankfully the babies loved the bananas and we were able to make the second time around a success!

Picture: Me playing peek-a-boo with Kennedy

Return to Halfani's Grandmother

I returned last week to Halfani’s grandmother to present her with some donations from my family. Since she is the sole provider for Halfani (and he has HIV) she never gets anything for herself. I gave her two solid longer sleeved shirts for her to wear with her congas (skirts). Previously she wore the only two congas she had – one around her top and one around her waist – but the one on the top had no straps or elastic so had trouble staying up. So she was embarrassed to leave the house as she could not cover herself properly. Now, she has two shirts that she can wear with the congas and she can also wash them properly when she isn’t wearing them.

It was an amazing feeling to give someone something who has so little and yet even the gesture seems too small – but she was so appreciative, so grateful. Charles told me – “She says she will never be able to thank you enough, she will never forget how generous you were.” As part of giving the donation we both put our hands on the shirts, raised them above our heads, then she put on the shirt. That ceremony symbolizes the act of giving, acknowledgment that the gifts are now hers, and in the end we are friends and we hug.

Many thanks to my family for their unconditional support.

Picture: Me and Halfani’s grandmother, in one of her new shirts!

Dalla-Dalla Adventures

How many people can you fit inside a van? Bagamoyo dalla-dallas (vans) might be pushing for the Guinness Book of World Records on this one! I was heading to Dar es Salaam Sunday to meet a friend, and found a comfortable seat in a dalla-dalla and waited for us to depart. Every seat was taken and one person was standing as we pulled away from the Bagamoyo bus station.

That doesn’t sound so bad but on our way we kept picking up passengers. At one point there were 15 people standing – not counting the ones sitting, which including the driver totaled another 15. 30 people in a van – it was nuts! Of course the dalla-dalla doesn’t go straight to Msasani peninsula, which was where I was headed so I had to change to different dalla-dallas – TWICE! This was also exciting because by the last dalla-dalla I was out of change so I had to give the driver 10,000 Tzh. For a 250 Tzh. Ride!

I am proud to say though I averted any scams and didn’t get lost – and I got to Dar es Salaam for less than 2,000 Tzh. (1.50 USD)!!!

Picture: a CCS van that is the same size as a dalla-dalla – yes 30 people in this size van!

Traditional Drumming & Dancing

Saturday night I headed with my friend Matiga and several volunteers to the Art College for a concert – several groups from Dar es Salaam, Kilimanjaro, Dodoma, and Tanga were performing traditional African drumming and dance.

I can’t wait till I get the chance to post videos – descriptions can’t do it justice! The performances were amazing, from the costumes to the rhythms to the dancers! I was incredibly impressed with how vibrant the culture is and how valuable it is to keep traditional drumming and dance alive.

Most of the performances included drums, marimbas, and rattles. The last group also had an electric guitar (I’m thinking not traditional, but a modern twist). The dancers were spectacular – I don’t know how they get their hips to move so fast while still moving their feet to the drum rhythms! Their personalities really shone while dancing – huge smiles, incredible athleticism and endurance, and genuinely appearing to have fun!

Picture: One of the groups that performed at the Art College

Halfani's Story

Halfani is a little boy who was born with HIV. Both of his parents died from AIDS and he now lives under the care of his grandmother (his mother’s mother). He is 6 years old and bright and charismatic with a beautiful smile. The grandmother is old and sick, it is hard for her to work. At her age after years of hard labor traditionally she would be taken care of by her children but all her children have died. Halfani, her one grandchild, is now in her care so she works hard and raises him on her own.

The house they live in is a very hard living situation. It is one room barely big enough for a twin size bed. A dirty mosquito net ridden with holes hangs above the bed and cooking pots line one of the walls. Outside there is a porch which serves as a makeshift living room, one torn up couch and a chair that’s only remnants are the frame and springs line the wall. The grandmother has only scraps of congas so she is often pulling them up to cover her chest.

We have brought the grandmother a mosquito net and we are going to help her clean this one. Additionally, we are going to bring her shirts so she will be covered and then can wear the congas as skirts. The boy we bring him little things like food – he gets additional care from a center in town, and he goes to primary school. Mostly Charles checks to make sure the grandmother is remembering to give the boy his medication. She forgets many times, and this is not good because if medication is not consistent it’s not effective.

Halfani is a sweet boy and proof to me that with the right care, HIV does not have to be a death sentence. He is living a life where he goes to school and can have a future. All people with HIV should be living lives of dignity and meaning.

Picture: Halfani at the entrance to his house

The Triplets' Story

This was one of the most heartbreaking home visits I’ve been on. I met triplets – 3 boys – who do not have HIV but are labeled as “vulnerable children.” They look alike – David, Kennedy, and Kevin – and although they will be 2 in November, they did not look more than 6 months old because they are so small and malnourished. When Charles and I arrived at the house they were crawling around naked in the front yard in the dirt – no clothes on, no diapers, with dirt in their eyes and on their bottoms.

The reason they are vulnerable is that their mother does not take care of them. All day she goes and uses money to do her hair and things, while their older siblings watch after them. They are badly malnourished. I learned from Charles that there was a 4th baby – they were originally quadruplets – there was a girl baby Catherine. When she was 10 months old she died from malaria and diarrhea. By the time her mother took her to the hospital, it was too late.

The triplets look very much alike even though they are fraternal. They cry but mostly are not attended to. When we got there we helped dress them – Charles has donated to the mother little clothes, but if she doesn’t dress them then often they crawl around with nothing on. Next week we will bring some fruit to help balance their diet, and also some toys for them to play with because they have nothing except the dirt in their yard.

It was very sad, it was hard not to cry. But I try to remember that I’m here to learn, and to provide what little help I can to improve their lives and give them hope.

Picture: The triplets all in a row, all with the same bewildered expression!

About My Afternoon Placement

In the afternoons I am back to volunteering at UKUN, a local NGO specializing in HIV/AIDS patient home care. UKUN is run by Charles, a local Bagamoyo man fluent in Swahili and English. The organization focuses on outreach to people with HIV in the community and seeing that they are taking medication, evaluating if they are receiving proper nutrition, and providing services and assistance when possible.

Charles is a fantastic person who truly cares about people with HIV and vulnerable children who may have parents with HIV. My work with him in the afternoon usually starts around 2:00 and we ride his motorcycle around town making visits to homes UKUN has identified. Charles is the project manager of UKUN and the organization receives funding indirectly from USAID through Tunajali, a regional NGO.

I will be starting to post stories about the people I’m encountering on these visits, as well as photos. I want to share their stories because each one is so unique but reflects broader social and cultural problems in Bagamoyo and Tanzania. I find these people to be beautiful and surprisingly content and at peace with their situations. What help is provided they appreciate immensely.

Picture: Charles during one of our home visits

Corporal Punishment

This is a hard post to write – a hard thing to think about, much less observe. Corporal punishment is technically outlawed in Tanzania but it still happens – it’s when teachers are allowed to discipline students physically by hitting them, usually with a stick or ruler. There have been a few instances in my class, as the teacher knows I disagree he refrains most of the time from using it.

One time that was particularly bothersome to me was during exams and Mariam, one of my sweet girls, did not know how to write “simba” but she knew that the picture was a lion. My teacher was frustrated I think, and so he told her to put out her palm and he whipped it with a stick 3 times. She cried. I cried. It was terrible. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of message that sends about education – get it right or be hit?

Another case was this week, when 3 of my students forgot their notebooks. Well I believe that Paulo and Pascali (my twins that both forgot) didn’t bring their books because the day before at school the plastic bag they carry their books in broke. My teacher whipped each student’s palm 3 times with the stick (I guess that’s the typical corporal punishment penalty, at least at my school). Then they were all sent home and told to return when they had their books. This made me quite angry – these kids are only 5 years old and they walk to school alone – they aren’t grown-ups and they’re going to forget things. All 3 boys cried – Paulo, Pascali, and Haridi – then headed home. An hour later Paulo and Pascali returned, carrying the broken bag with school supplies in it. Haridi didn’t return until today.

Lastly, today was another use of corporal punishment. This time, Ramadhan and a boy from another class (not sure of the name) were I guess playing at the beach when they got mad at each other, and Ramadhan kicked the boy so hard he scraped his skin and he was bleeding. The boy cried and Ramadhan was punished – again 3 whips with the stick on his palm. Then Ramadhan cried. I couldn’t help but think, no wonder the kids hit each other, they are learning that from the teachers.

Physical punishment shouldn’t be the answer but it’s clear why it is. There is a lack of social norms surrounding expectation of education and so while maybe parents let their kids go to school they don’t have the same expectations of performance. Many schools in Bagamoyo are funded by NGOs and outside organizations, there are few (if any that I know of) that are self-sustaining: the remaining schools are government-run. Physical punishment also yields immediate results and the kids fear the teachers. Whereas for students to be good without physical punishment the process is longer, less concrete, and definitely less easy. Lastly, physical punishment is also used by parents so you can see how it is socially acceptable – parents use it at home, teachers use it at school.

Is it any wonder, though, why kids in Tanzania hit each other more than kids in America? That is how they learn to express anger and frustration.

My little kids are little people!

I really have gotten the impression from my kids here in Africa that they are like little adults – forced to grow up so fast. Kids in Bagamoyo – and Tanzania – walk sometimes miles to school – alone. When I was 4 years old I don’t think I played outside alone, much less walked miles to school by myself!

One of my students, Nashfat, had been absent at school for about a month. Thursday she came with her mom and her mom was explaining why. Apparently her baby teeth aren’t falling out but her other teeth are growing in anyway – so she’s had several removed. No novacaine and cotton gauze in her mouth. It just broke my heart because she was so tough – not crying or anything. But when I scooped her up in my arms she just laid her little head down on my shoulder and lightly clutched my shirt. I cannot even express the amount of love I felt at that moment for my little Nashfat! I just adore these kids they are the light in my life.

Today on my UKUN home visits I happened to pass 4 of my kids! I hear them shout “Dana” (but it sounds like DEENA) and they come running up to me and Charles on the motorcycle! Nashfat was one of them and she ran so fast and just lept up into my arms! I also saw Ramadhan, Abdul, and Haridi today. A lot of my kids leave in the areas most affected by HIV and AIDS so it’s not surprising that I saw them – I guess I should expect that to happen more and more!

So my life is back to normal – I get to Anglican daycare around 7:45am and I stay till noon. I have lunch at CCS then I do UKUN home visits from 2:00-5:00. Then dinner at CCS, maybe internet and to a bar for a drink. I bike to Anglican and UKUN which is great, I feel part of the community and I really feel like I live here. Thanks everyone for the support of my decision to stay a few more weeks! I really feel like I’m making a difference!

Picture: Me and little Nashfat!

Staying in Tanzania

Big news, I'm staying in Tanzania! There is still so much I want to accomplish and I can't leave a job undone. I'm feeling MUCH better and am so grateful for my incredibly patient family who is still supporting me in my crazy adventures!

My last 2 and a half weeks I plan to finish writing letters with my kids - and get to the end of the alphabet - also hopefully the school supplies from Courtney and my family will arrive and I'll get to post some pictures of my kids with their school supplies! I also am painting my own African-style painting that will be a gift for my baby cousins in North Carolina (Uncle John and Aunt Karen don't tell Zeke and Sebastian!). I'm also making the HIV/AIDS curriculum Nick and I created as a presentation part of UKUN, the HIV/AIDS organization here and getting other volunteers involved!

I'm really thrilled that I'm staying... thank you all for your continued support and prayers. I'm planning on staying healthy and making a difference these last couple weeks.
Ghandi said it best.... YOU must be the change you wish to see in the world!

Picture: one of my kids – Lightness – she is precious

Simple Kindness

This is my tenth week teaching the 5-year old class at Bagamoyo Anglican Daycare. Something I’ve noticed is that each kid in my class is unique – they are little people with their own personalities and learning styles. I’ve learned that many have home lives that are extremely difficult and almost too sad to mention.

I have twins – Paulo and Pascali – who my teacher always referred to as the “bad boys.” This became evident as I saw them pick fights, yell, cry, and fail to pay attention in class. However, as time went on I noticed they were also usually late to school, their uniforms dirty and probably not washed in weeks, lacking shoes and backpacks carrying their notebooks in a red and white striped plastic bag. Both are malnourished – the skin pulls at their eye sockets and joints. Their knees are covered with boils, their arms dotted with scattered scars. They never smiled… I found them to be truly sad people, made even sadder by the fact that they are only 5 years old.

During the summer weeks at first they didn’t come to school. But the last three weeks they have and I was able to give them some special attention. I spent 20 minutes with Pascali practicing writing capital letter “D” over and over again until it didn’t look like an “O.” I revised Paulo’s work over and over again to get him to write in a straight line, a seemingly impossible task even though he has a lined paper notebook! Each day I said to them “tutaonana kesho” [see you tomorrow] hoping to encourage them to continue coming to summer school classes.

This week normal classes resumed and I noticed a difference. The twins now sit in the front row of the class and pay attention, repeating after me and looking at the board. They get so excited when they do well enough on work to get a sticker – they will revise their work repeatedly to get that sticker! They cause less trouble in class (although still some, Paulo constantly talks chalk dust and wipes it on Wahida, one of the girls in the class). Today Pascali smiled and it warmed my heart.

Every day I tell them “Nakupenda” – “I love you.” Every day I encourage their work. Every day I remind my teacher not to hit them even when they are bad. He seemed confused at first but I asked him to watch them. He finally noticed the difference, a change in their attitudes and behavior. He looked to me and said “simple kindness?”

Simple kindness indeed.

Postal System Vent

I have to say, I am really disappointed in Tanzania’s postal system. Back in June, both Courtney and my parents sent boxes to Bagamoyo filled with school supplies for my kids. A month later, those boxes still have not arrived. As I have searched for answers I just continue to find more problems.

First, there is no guarantee the boxes will ever arrive, apparently. Second, customs has the authority to go through the boxes before they deliver them to me. Third, if customs decides the boxes are filled with enough things they can levy a tax that I have to pay before I can pick up the box from the post office. Fourth, there is no timeline for delivering packages so I have no idea if I can expect the boxes to arrive before I leave.

All of these issues make me frustrated and disappointed. Yesterday the pencil sharpener I bring to class broke, so the last two days my kids have been sharpening their pencils with their teeth. It breaks my heart – how can a country that has so little be so corrupt and inefficient when these wonderful school supplies are on the way? I pose a question that’s hardly revolutionary, it’s one that people involved in development deal with every day.

I just want the supplies to come for my kids, but I’m realizing that the problem is bigger than me, bigger than Bagamoyo, it’s Tanzania and the lack of infrastructure, regulation, and accountability in the postal system and government in general. For countries trying to develop, nothing can be assumed or taken for granted – even something like mail.

My Mentee

The past few weeks I have been mentoring Anisa, a secondary school student I met during one of my and Nick’s presentations about HIV/AIDS awareness. She was a student and had many questions so we started meeting and became friends. We meet at a local restaurant and have sodas and she asks me questions about myself, my goals, what it’s like to be a female in America. She is so smart and wants to be a lawyer but faces some obstacles because she is female. However, her family values education and she is the oldest girl so they pay for her to be in secondary school and when she graduates she will get to go to University in Dar es Salaam then graduate school to become a lawyer.

She is so sweet and not much younger than me – she is 20, my sister’s age. It’s amazing to me how many challenges she has faced and how gracefully and humbly she discusses them. She has lived very far from home – her family is in Kilimanjaro – for the past 5 years while she goes to high school. She eats only ugali, Tanzanian porridge, for most meals. She only gets to see her family once or twice a year during school breaks. At the secondary school she must share books with other students because there aren’t enough for everyone. She studies English hard because to be a lawyer in the courts all proceedings are done in English. I can’t imagine what it must be like! I admire her and she is one of the friends I’ve made here that I will truly miss.

Picture: Me and Anisa this past Friday at Hillside

Low-Key Week

So after the hospitalization Sunday I had a really nice low-key week in Bagamoyo. It’s funny how the unexpected brings a whole new set of adventures! I spent a lot of time this week at the art center down the street playing with the kids and hanging out with the artists. My school was closed so thankfully even though I was sick I wasn’t missing out on teaching my usual student. Instead, I was at the art center with Dickson, James, Ali, Nyola, and Matiga and the students they teach.

All the guys are talented artists. Dickson is a beautiful painter and he also plays guitar and has an amazing singing voice. James and Ali make beautiful jewelry and James is a great dancer. Nyola drums and does a little painting, while Matiga is a drummer, guitar player, songwriter, and singer. Matiga has his own CD which I bought a copy of – he’s incredible! The art center they run they teach these traditional African skills to street kids while also feeding them and playing with them.

This week I watched the kids make jewelry, practice their dance moves and drumming, and dangle from the rafters in the center like little gymnasts! I was actually really grateful for the experience because it was so low-key and I was still sick, very nauseas from all the medication, and I saw a totally different side of Bagamoyo. Because of a more prominent Art College, Bagamoyo is actually a hot spot for Tanzanian culture.

We also had a nice farewell lunch for Sam, one of the volunteers, on Friday. Dickson makes lunch for the center and the kids and when it’s a volunteer’s last day he’ll sometimes invite over a few of us and include us in lunch. They made coconut rice, a vegetable sauce, avocado, sliced cucumber, and passion fruit juice. Eva and I also brought sodas for the event – enough for all of us and the kids, which was a real treat!

I also had time to do a little shopping and have some more clothes made. There are many pemba shops where you can by congas, or African fabric, in all different colors and patterns. There is also a tailor where you can take the congas and have them made into clothing – like pants, capris, skirts, or dresses. I’ve had a few things made for myself, but also some gifts too! I’m so used to seeing congas in different styles every day it will be strange when I’m the only one wearing them back in the United States!

Picture: Me and Sam with some of the kids at the art center

Decision to Come Home

After careful deliberation and discussion with doctors and my family, I have decided to come home next week. I am sad to go but I have had an amazing 2 months in Africa and met wonderful people and learned so much. While I am sad that the last 2 weeks here will be cut short, I also recognize the importance of focusing on my health and recovering so I can start back classes at Duke mid-August.

There are still some unknowns, I’m not quite sure which bacteria is attacking my stomach and blood but I am on several medications that I hope will fight it. I feel better but the medications are strong and so I am left weak with very little energy to do anything except sleep, rest, check email, and eat (even though I have no appetite).

On the bright side I had 10 weeks, over 2 months in Tanzania and I loved every second with my kids and the community. I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to have come and I want to convey that Africa – and Tanzania – is not a scary place, and I have just come across some bad luck that is causing me to come home a little early. I believe in coming here and helping the people here because it is important to our world.

I hope to not be viewed as a quitter, I consider myself someone who is strong and tried for the past few weeks to really fight the malaria and then the stomach bacteria. However, when you are hospitalized with stomach ulcers and a high fever, no matter where you are in the world it is serious and required me to change my plans. I am sad, and I feel a mix of gratitude and guilt. I am so thankful I get to come home to doctors and family, yet I feel sorrow knowing my kids and friends here are not so lucky and lack often the most basic medical care.

I am eternally grateful for the thoughts and prayers of my friends and family. The words of encouragement have lifted me out of my sadness that I’ve felt in making this difficult decision. I try to view this not as the end, but as just the beginning of my experiences in Africa. There is still much I can do for my kids and this community even far away in the United States and that will remain a priority for me. It also makes what I’m working for at Duke so real, and has shown me that I am on the right path towards improving the quality of life for people around the world.

If there’s one lesson that’s hard for anyone to learn – especially me – is when to stick it out and when to let go. This is a case where I want to stick it out, I feel very determined and frustrated that being sick has “beaten” me, but I have to be responsible and come back and focus on my health. Otherwise, my being here doesn’t help in the long run if I can’t get back to school and apply what I’ve learned to my studies and graduate and then start working to help. It’s a matter of perspective, and I’m trying to stay centered (even though it’s hard). I’m disappointed, but optimistic about the future.

I leave Thursday July 16th and arrive in Washington D.C. Friday July 17th. I plan to post more before I leave, once I feel a little better and can say my goodbyes, see my kids, etc.

Thanks everyone for your unwavering support, love, and kindness.

Love,
Dana

Hospitalization

Hi Family and Friends… I regret to say I was hospitalized yesterday for a stomach bacterial infection. I ended up with a fever of 102F and stomach ulcers – I was in a lot of pain. The hospital staff was very kind and very helpful, but there are still a lot of unknowns – no one was able to tell me what exactly is wrong with me.

Right now I’m trying to focus on taking the medications that will hopefully cure the infection. I would hate to leave Tanzania early, I love it here and have had a wonderful time, but I have to focus on my health and preparing to start school again. I will keep everyone posted on the developments and my decision to leave early or stay.

I love and miss you all.

Reining Filing Queen

So my afternoon work the past couple days slowed down – not a lot going on at the hospital – so I’ve been helping them file HIV/AIDS patients’ records! It’s been fun going back into filing-queen mode from my days at the State Attorney’s Office in Tallahassee! My skills have actually been really useful – we have different color folders for pediatrics (children under 16) and adults and now we file them on different shelves. I’ve also gotten to enter a lot of data in their computer systems. It’s heartbreaking to see how many kids are born with HIV – they are innocent yet they are already fighting incredible odds.

The staff in the Care and Treatment Clinic (CTC) where I work has made some interesting comments. The woman I work for, Martha, feels strongly that there is responsibility on women who have been diagnosed with HIV not to get pregnant. You can only take ARV drugs for your fetus if your CD4 count is high and you have no reactors in your blood. If you’ve already passed to that stage then you cannot have that type of ARV thus your baby will be born with HIV.

Martha says so much health education goes on at the CTC yet she sees women time and again come in pregnant when they are in stage 4 of HIV (full-blown AIDS) and are teetering on the brink of survival themselves. She says unfortunately many of these women are not independent, they rely on boyfriends or husbands to work and they willingly have sex without protection and wind up pregnant. The HIV kids we see every day she calls “the innocents” as they come into the world with HIV yet they have no ability to control or prevent it.

This drove home an interesting point to me – even with resources and education, there are often prevailing cultural attitudes that may keep global health problems like HIV rampant in developing countries. Traditional gender roles may play a stronger role than I realized – so it’s important to think about multiple underlying factors. Personal responsibility shouldn’t be overlooked either, especially when it concerns something as serious as HIV. Whether it’s having unprotected sex and spreading the disease or bringing children into the world infected with HIV, there are definitely ways for individuals who are HIV positive to impact the spread and magnitude of the disease.

As with most of my findings here I’m seeing repeatedly that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to development efforts in Tanzania. Rather than focus on one thing or another, I’m excited about positively affecting the ways that HIV, education, nutrition, and poverty interact with one another. By looking at the whole picture from the micro level, maybe I’ll see how different policies may make a greater impact!

Picture: CCS Volunteers cleaning up the outside of the new CTC clinic

Top 5: Words in Swahili

5. Safi – this means “great” – it’s a response for everything but the word is fun to say
4. Mwalimu – the Swahili word for “teacher” – I also love hearing it 5,000 times a day!
3. Poa – the response to mambo, which means what’s up – poa means “cool”
2. Tosha – this means “enough” – I yell it at my kids when they are bad
1. Nakupenda – this means “I love you” – I say this to my kids more than tosha haha

I’ve loved learning Swahili and hope to be better at it in the future… maybe even come back to Tanzania one day to live and work!

Top 5: Tee Shirts I've Seen in Bagamoyo

5. Barack Obama campaign shirt (hope 08!)
4. Mzungu (means “white person” in Swahili used to denote foreigners – a black volunteers in our group bought it and wears it)
3. Hard work never killed anyone but I’m still not gonna risk it (probably didn’t know what it meant but appropriately the guy was sitting on the side of the road!)
2. Pi Beta Phi bid day shirt 2006 (don’t know which chapter but I really wanted to stop the guy and take a picture with him- yes it was a guy wearing a sorority bid day shirt!)
1. Toddler’s Rules (I need this shirt)

A lot of clothes in Bagamoyo are clearly donations made from volunteers or visitors to the town so it’s no surprise I’ve seen some of the ones I’ve seen. They are pretty funny though – especially the toddler one, I love it!

From Malaria Patient to Surgeon!

I started my placement at the hospital today. Boy was I in for a big surprise! My first day I was allowed to observe Dr. Allen, one of the CCS volunteers, operate on a woman with appendicitis. He removed her appendix in a surgery that lasted about 2 hours and I was fully scrubbed in, complete with white boots, a surgeon’s cap, and facemask.

The surgery was really interesting – a contrast in many ways from what I’ve “seen” in the United States. The resources are dramatically less and it was clear that Dr. Allen was the expert, even though he was “assisting” the head surgeon with the operation. I watched as first an incision was made across the oblique abdomen, then once through the layers of fatty tissue and weaved through muscle fibers, we were in the body! I saw the small intestine, an ovary, and the appendix, of course!

The removal took longer than I thought and there was less blood than I thought. Periodically dabbing, Dr. Allen had tied off all the ruptured blood vessels and you could see the organs reasonably clearly. Basically the appendix is tied off and the tube rerouted before the actual appendix is removed. I don’t understand a lot of the details, but this equaled a lot of staring at the appendix and watching Dr. Allen tie knots with medical thread. Once the appendix was out he tested the rest of the area just checking that everything looked normal. Then she was sewn back up and taken into recovery!

Only in Africa would I probably be allowed access to such procedures. I have no medical training or background, and I think the last science class I took was Astronomy my freshman year of college! Still there I was in the back, scrubbed in with 3 other volunteers (all going into medicine) and I asked questions. I was curious, and interested in the process.

Some of the policy issues that struck me were issues of knowledge and procedure. Everyone in medicine in the United States talks about how the field is never static; it’s always changing and there are always developments and improvements. It’s clear though that the basics are still lacking in Tanzania, let alone advanced improvements in surgery skill like Dr. Allen brought to the operating room.

It will be interesting to see what lies ahead in my future adventures at the hospital! In other news, I am recovering from the malaria really well and feeling much better. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.