Decision to Come Home

After careful deliberation and discussion with doctors and my family, I have decided to come home next week. I am sad to go but I have had an amazing 2 months in Africa and met wonderful people and learned so much. While I am sad that the last 2 weeks here will be cut short, I also recognize the importance of focusing on my health and recovering so I can start back classes at Duke mid-August.

There are still some unknowns, I’m not quite sure which bacteria is attacking my stomach and blood but I am on several medications that I hope will fight it. I feel better but the medications are strong and so I am left weak with very little energy to do anything except sleep, rest, check email, and eat (even though I have no appetite).

On the bright side I had 10 weeks, over 2 months in Tanzania and I loved every second with my kids and the community. I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to have come and I want to convey that Africa – and Tanzania – is not a scary place, and I have just come across some bad luck that is causing me to come home a little early. I believe in coming here and helping the people here because it is important to our world.

I hope to not be viewed as a quitter, I consider myself someone who is strong and tried for the past few weeks to really fight the malaria and then the stomach bacteria. However, when you are hospitalized with stomach ulcers and a high fever, no matter where you are in the world it is serious and required me to change my plans. I am sad, and I feel a mix of gratitude and guilt. I am so thankful I get to come home to doctors and family, yet I feel sorrow knowing my kids and friends here are not so lucky and lack often the most basic medical care.

I am eternally grateful for the thoughts and prayers of my friends and family. The words of encouragement have lifted me out of my sadness that I’ve felt in making this difficult decision. I try to view this not as the end, but as just the beginning of my experiences in Africa. There is still much I can do for my kids and this community even far away in the United States and that will remain a priority for me. It also makes what I’m working for at Duke so real, and has shown me that I am on the right path towards improving the quality of life for people around the world.

If there’s one lesson that’s hard for anyone to learn – especially me – is when to stick it out and when to let go. This is a case where I want to stick it out, I feel very determined and frustrated that being sick has “beaten” me, but I have to be responsible and come back and focus on my health. Otherwise, my being here doesn’t help in the long run if I can’t get back to school and apply what I’ve learned to my studies and graduate and then start working to help. It’s a matter of perspective, and I’m trying to stay centered (even though it’s hard). I’m disappointed, but optimistic about the future.

I leave Thursday July 16th and arrive in Washington D.C. Friday July 17th. I plan to post more before I leave, once I feel a little better and can say my goodbyes, see my kids, etc.

Thanks everyone for your unwavering support, love, and kindness.

Love,
Dana