Disheartened

I am incredibly disheartened with all of the hatred and ridicule directed at Barack Obama for his receipt of the Nobel Peace Prize. It is laced with ignorance and political fodder and it disgusts me. First of all, the Nobel Peace Prize is defined as "the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses." What is clear is that the recognition is about promotion and not necessarily results. It was awarded to many individuals BEFORE the issues they promoted were achieved. Second, you do not nominate yourself for this award. President Obama was nominated and selected by the committee. So to ridicule him saying he hasn't accomplished enough is misdirected criticism.

Third, and most important to me, while everyone is entitled to believe what they wish, I truly believe President Obama has inspired peace and hope in hostile nations and regions. I was in Tanzania when he came to Ghana and spoke about peace in Africa. While Ghana is across the continent from Tanzania, you would have thought it was next door. People talked about it, waited and listened for his speech. I really saw, from my perspective, a real reaction to this message about peace. If you are solely caught up in the partisan bubble that is US politics and surrounding yourself with the daily political fodder, then you miss the bigger perspective. It is evident that President Obama has inspired peace around the world.

I believe, ultimately, that this award is an extremely positive recognition for American and a revival of our position as a leader in the world. It complements our country in so many ways, so to see it reduced to facebook status quips and 30 second sound bites is very disheartening to me. I believe that peace promotion, recognition or not, is something we should be grateful for and we should respect. I would hope this is something that we can all agree on, regardless of our political persuasions.

Great Weekend

It is a lovely Sunday morning! Later today the fam jam is going to a Durham Bulls game which will be so much fun! Last night Melissa and I enjoyed some Carrabba's (and free appetizers) then had a night out on the town in Chapel Hill! It was a blast... I tried to be minimalist in a black dress, beige pumps, and red lipstick & the red rose ring from Italy. Had so much fun but didn't get home till 3. Now I'm sleepyyyy....

Speaking somewhat vaguely, I definitely feel different than I felt last year. The spring was not the best time for me, a culmination of not really being myself for a year. I really credit my friends and family for sticking with me through all of that. And Tanzania, well it just was the absolute best experience of my life. It changed me, who I am and what I care about. I've always wanted to help people, and the MPP was a great program for the skills and content I need and am interested in. But still, I wasn't quite sure exactly how to help... but now I have a passion.

I had a great talk with JQ yesterday, just about being happy and being able to look inward and just be happy with yourself. Even if you aren't where you want to be, even if you are surrounded by things that are difficult or negative, or people who dislike you, it's important to be calm and happy in your heart. I think to me that's the difference with this year - that I am 100% happy with myself and the decisions I've made, and what I want to do and where I want to go. I'm almost 24, and it's funny to think 3 years ago where I thought I'd be - I was a senior at FSU, was for sure going to law school for 3 years and then working. I would have expected to be a 3L now, probably getting married or something along those lines. Well the point is, that wouldn't have made me happy, and I couldn't be happier with my choices. I really feel like God has a funny way of revealing your path to you, and it became so much clearer when I stopped trying to worry about each and every little thing.

It's just life and as we say in Tanzania "Twende Tuishi" - live the life.

It's Been a While, But...

Africa is no less on my mind than when I was there waking up every day. I think about it nonstop, actually. I think about going back, think about what capacity I could go, should go. It's hard to explain to anyone "why Africa." It always has been, like how my eyes are almost blue or how I will always be scared of scary movies and refuse to watch them.

Right now I'm watching "The Constant Gardener." Lots of images that remind me of Tanzania even though the film is set in Kenya. The language is the same - kiSwahili - the bicycles, mix of Muslim and Christian churches dotting the background. Children in school uniforms, bright colored congas. The movie is about corruption, about a fictional pharmaceutical company that is basically testing its tuberculosis drug (which also doesn't actually exist) on Africans. A woman is murdered trying to internationally expose the company, and her husband slowly learns more about why it happened - the company paint her as an adulterer murdered by a jealous African lover.

Well I'm drawn to it, at any rate, I feel like I learned more there, that they gave me more than I could have dreamed of giving them. Too many people take advantage of them. It's like anywhere, there are good and bad people, and I'm not a saint or an angel, but there are good people dying every day with no one to help them.

I'm thinking about joining the Peace Corps after graduation, if they would send me to Africa. I could do field work for a couple years and learn more. I could be a better policymaker. I could learn a lot from the people and just focus on myself for a while.

Goodbye Bagamoyo!

My last day (rather, morning) in Bagamoyo was really nice. I went to the house with the triplets with Charles and other UKUN volunteers for about an hour. We just played and I cuddled with Kennedy – the triplet that has warmed up to me the most! They are all just adorable though. Saying goodbye is never easy for me – I teared up saying goodbye to the staff.

Really one of the most amazing things about the program was the staff. I know so many of the volunteers felt that way. They really are a family and you become part of that family when you are there. Especially staying for 12 weeks I really got to know them and spend time with them. Some days if I had my afternoons free I’d hang out with the kitchen staff – Chiku, Robert, and Edda and help cook (I was the resident chapatti expert haha). Every day Edna and Paulina, the housekeepers, are so cheery and sweet they make you smile. And Mama C is just everyone’s second mom over here, she is so calm and relaxed despite how stressed she must get managing the houses and all the volunteers! Didase is so silly and always makes you laugh with his unique perspective on everything. And Mama Thea is an inspiration – her story of focusing on education and working her way up and now the work she is doing to bring volunteers into the community, she is a great leader by example.

It wasn’t easy to say goodbye. I already miss them and my life there – waking up and biking to school, teaching, running errands, having lunch, spending my afternoons making home visits to HIV/AIDS patients, dinner then a drink with friends. It was wonderful – and I have a renewed conviction in what I want to do in life to work directly with and for people who seem to have so little but are truthfully some of the happiest people in the world.

Picture: Me and Elias, one of our drivers, saying goodbye before I left!

Farewell Party

I had a great last night in Bagamoyo! I had a farewell party at Hillside, the bar close to CCS. I was so surprised when the entire staff of the Anglican Daycare came! Julius, Agnes, Upenda, and Babu (the cook) surprised me with another beautiful gift – a shawl, to be draped around my shoulders. It’s gorgeous!

I was in the company of great friends I made over the trip – Eva, Matiga, Rasti, Kristina, Carlee, Adam, Dane, Kelly, Devon and Anna – but I was definitely missing a few people. Especially the other half of the fab four – Nick and John – as well as the rest of the original crew. Still we enjoyed an extended curfew and traditional African hip-hop music (hello baybeee)!

I feel like I got most of my tears out in the morning which was good, I was really able to enjoy my farewell party. Everyone asked what I’ll miss the most and it’s no contest – my kids. Each and every one of my 36 kids. I hope they remember me and how much I love them!

Picture: Agnes and Upenda surprising me with the shawl

Meeting the Twins' Family

Today was my last day at school, but it was also the first time I met the parents of my twins, Paulo and Paskali, that I write about so frequently. The father came to school to thank me for the backpacks for the twins. He invited me to their house so I went after school with the twins and my teacher.

It has bothered me for some time how hard my teacher is on the twins, I feel like he picks on them. It was an eye-opener for both of us to see where they live. Their father rents a small room in a traditional mud-brick house with tin roof (no windows). The whole family lives and sleeps in one room. The parents share a double bed and the twins sleep on foam cushions on the floor. Their school clothes I always noticed were torn, buttons missing, dirty, and their personal clothes are even more worn. They wear pants that hardly fit and shirts that have tears and holes to where you wouldn’t hardly recognize them as articles of clothing.

The parents were kind and generous, offering me traditional Tanzanian chai and bread. It is clear that these are the poorest students at my school yet the parents find a way to pay the 5,000 shillings per student per month (a little less than 5 USD) for them to go to school. It makes me feel like the extra attention I spent trying to get them to write letters and focus was worthwhile. I think these twins just need extra attention and love, they have little resources and a very poor family. I am hopeful that they will continue with their education in the years to come.

Picture: The Mbaga family – the mother Fatuma, the father Joseph, and the twins Paulo (in red) and Paskali

Last Day at School

Today was my last day at placement. It was really hard to say goodbye to my kids. In 3 months here I feel like they have become a part of my life, they are not just cute little kids but they are little people that I know and love. I feel like I really know them – who is shy, who is outgoing, who is smart, who has trouble. I know their family situations and all of their names. Most didn’t understand I wasn’t coming back – they kept saying “kesho!” which is like “see you tomorrow.” But I am leaving so that is the reality.

The church and school got me a gift – a beautiful conga – and presented it to me at the end of the day. I was moved by the gesture, especially since they have so little and yet gave me such a nice gift. I felt progress with my students – we finished the alphabet today and their handwriting has really improved! I may not have taught them much, but at least that is something I am proud of.

Tomorrow I leave for the USA – I fly from Dar es Salaam to Doha, Qatar where I stay the night. The next day I fly to Washington D.C. where my mom will pick me up and drive to North Carolina. Sunday we drive to Florida where I will be for 2 weeks.

Picture: The Minister of the Church and Cook presenting me with the conga. I’m also holding lightness because she was crying from falling down earlier.

Sijali's Story

Sijali is a beautiful 41 year old woman who is living with HIV that has progressed to AIDS. I met her 3 weeks ago and have had several visits with her. She has been married 3 times and has 5 children from those relationships. All three men are still alive but she now lives at home with her mother. All her children are grown up and live in Dar es Salaam although they come and visit her. She has 3 brothers but 2 have died – one in a fight over a woman, the other from intoxication of being drunk. She says she has too many sisters to count, over 10 at least.

What struck me about Sijali was how frankly she discussed things – she lives with her mother because her mother went and took her from the husband who wasn’t taking proper care of her, she wasn’t taking her ARV medication and thus getting more sick. Once she recovered she went back to him and the same thing happened again, only this time she got TB, a respiratory infection. She is back home with the mother but weakened significantly by the dual medications of ARV and TB – so much so that even trying to eat is strenuous. The mother takes care of her but one eye is burned shut, so she only sees through one eye. Additionally, because Sijali is immobile she’s acquired a fungus on her feet and neck that have caused the feet in particular to swell, the skin stretching across bumpy swollen lumps on both feet.

Charles and I stayed with her a while, hearing her story, and also explaining to her who I am and why I came to see her. We checked her CD4 count and she’s doing okay and hopefully it will go up as she continues to take her medication. The hospital is changing her medication to a different ARV so that will complement the TB medication and not weaken her so badly. We gave her an ointment for the fungus and next week I will go back with body oil to massage the feet and hopefully keep the skin from tearing – if the skin tears it may become infected and since she has progressed to AIDS even a minor infection may cause her to die.

My last visit with Sijali we talked more – she says she wants to get better and doesn’t want to live in pain. She has improved in terms of mobility, once a week she goes to the market. It still takes her time – as much as 5 minutes to stand then walk across the room. We laughed as I explained through Charles what an airplane is and how it takes so long to get back to America. We talked to her mother about Barack Obama – she cannot believe he has black skin. Once more, she can’t believe mzungu (white people) voted for him! I think she was encouraged though, to hear me talk about how he loves the people of the world and America.

It is sad at times but I am glad I’m getting the experience of working with people like Sijali and sharing their stories with all of you.

Mwajuma's Story

A week ago I met Mwajuma, a woman who is extremely poor. She lives on the porch of someone’s house – outside, on a rope threaded cot with no blankets or walls. A few months ago, she was bitten by a rat and became infected to the point of elephantitis. Her foot is swollen 3 inches deep on the bottom, 4 inches on the top. Only the first two toes are still there, the rest are indistinguishable from the swollen foot. We took her to the hospital and she needs to go to the national hospital in Tanzania. She has no one to take her there – her daughter died from cancer, has no husband, and her 4 grandchildren are in boarding school (secondary school at a government school so it is free for them).

She said to me today, my last visit with her, that sometimes she wants to give up. She thinks maybe it is better to die than to live in pain – she has just now developed a fungus that is eating the skin between her fingers on her right hand. This breaks my heart, not because I haven’t heard people that might feel that way, but it was the first time someone said it to me, and meant it. I told her never give up, and to keep trying. She is a very friendly, jovial woman and she is not HIV positive. I hope to hear her future improves even as I leave Tanzania.

Picture: Mwajuma cooking in front of her porch

Donations to the School

Last Thursday the packages sent by my family and Courtney FINALLY arrived! There were 5 boxes in all so there was a lot to sort through – pencils, pens, colored pencils, crayons, stamps, stickers, construction paper, soccer balls, flashcards, and books! I was like a kid on Christmas opening those boxes!

Monday was the best day – bringing everything to school and seeing the look on my kids’ faces! Five of my kids – Paulo, Paskali, Alice, Saidi, and Naifati received backpacks. They were carrying their school supplies every day in plastic bags ripped and broken. All of them, especially Naifati were so surprised and excited. The twins were practically in shock – I don’t think they’ve ever gotten gifts. Paskali wore his backpack around the rest of the day – he refused to take it off! I also wrote each of their names on the backpacks so that they would know that the backpack was theirs.

My kids each got pencils and pens of their own. The oldest kids who will be starting Standard 1 at the primary schools in January received the bright composition books, my younger kids got the notepads. The crayons, colored pencils, balls, flashcards, and books will stay at school for all of them to share. They did get to color and play with the balls and they were so excited. What they were actually MOST excited about were the pencil sharpeners! I’ve mentioned before, but they never have pencil sharpeners so they have to sharpen with their teeth. Between the boxes my family and Courtney sent, they now have over 10 for the whole class! Some of the items will stay at CCS – the construction paper from my parents, the loose lined paper from Courtney, and a couple books – so that future volunteers can use those things at their schools too.

My dad also included a soccer ball pump so that is safe in the office at the school, but as the soccer balls get used and get deflated, now they have a way to fill them back up! I even taught Abdul, one of my kids, how to use it! I really love this because it’s sustainable – hopefully my school can use those soccer balls for years to come! I gave out a bunch of the stickers for my kids to play with too, which they promptly stuck all over themselves! They are really hilarious, I just love them.

It was a wonderful day and my kids were so appreciative. BIG HUGE thank you to my mom, dad, sister Jenni, Mama Doris, and Courtney for supporting me and my kids and sending boxes – that are not cheap to send to Tanzania in the first place – with no guarantee that they’d get here. I love and thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

Picture: Me with all 36 of my students after they got all their school supplies!

Weekend in Zanzibar

I spent my last weekend in Tanzania relaxing on the island of Zanzibar! We had a wonderful time! The weather was perfect the whole time – sunny, a little breezy, highs in the 80s. The water there is ethereal blue and clear as pool water.

Friday we woke up in beautiful Kendwa. During the day we relaxed, lay on the beach, and went for walks. That evening we watched the sun set on the Indian Ocean. The colors were incredible – bright orange, luminous pink, burnt yellow, and firey red.

Saturday a large group of us – 10 volunteers – went snorkeling on an island off the east coast of the island called Mnemba. It’s known to be one of the best places to snorkel and/or scuba dive. We had a blast! We saw dolphins, eels, angel fish, zebra fish, sea urchins, and beautiful coral. We had an underwater photographer with us so we also have some great pictures!

Sunday me, Carlee, Adam and Kristina headed to Stonetown. We bargain shopped for a while and had a delicious lunch at Kidudo, a little place in the heart of Stonetown. I bought some mneche (not sure of spelling) – turquoise colored stone carved into jewelry.

It was the perfect way to spend my last weekend in Tanzania!

Picture: me underwater in the coral reef!

Feeding the Triplets: Parts I & II

Feeding the triplets was an adventure! The first day we showed up with grapes – fruit in an attempt to meet their nutrition needs. The triplets were still a little unsure of me – this mzungu taking pictures and bringing strange food! Well I was feeling on top of the world showing up with grapes but it turned out not to be as simple as I thought.

The triplets had never had grapes before and so were scared of them! Despite their older siblings, Charles, me, and their mother eating the grapes, they refused to try them. Instead, they threw them on the ground. I was so discouraged – here I thought I was helping and instead the food was going to waste because I didn’t think about the fact that they are babies and picky eaters and I couldn’t make them try it!

So instead Charles and I sat with the triplets and fed them their dinner – ugali and peas. The smaller one, Kevin, must have been sick because he was in my lap eating one minute, and then threw up all of the food he had just eaten. This worried me because he is already the smallest of the remaining triplets (and like I mentioned in a previous post, the 4th baby died from malaria and diarrhea). The mother cleaned him up but we were still concerned.

The next day we returned with bananas – food that the babies have tried and like – to try again with the nutrition and also to check on baby Kevin. The babies were finally warming up to me – Kennedy let me feed him and David played peek-a-boo with me. Kevin was wrapped up on his mom’s back – she had taken him to the hospital and he tested negative for malaria so they put him on amoxicillin to fight whatever bacteria was making him sick.

Lesson learned: even good intentions need to be thought out! Thankfully the babies loved the bananas and we were able to make the second time around a success!

Picture: Me playing peek-a-boo with Kennedy

Return to Halfani's Grandmother

I returned last week to Halfani’s grandmother to present her with some donations from my family. Since she is the sole provider for Halfani (and he has HIV) she never gets anything for herself. I gave her two solid longer sleeved shirts for her to wear with her congas (skirts). Previously she wore the only two congas she had – one around her top and one around her waist – but the one on the top had no straps or elastic so had trouble staying up. So she was embarrassed to leave the house as she could not cover herself properly. Now, she has two shirts that she can wear with the congas and she can also wash them properly when she isn’t wearing them.

It was an amazing feeling to give someone something who has so little and yet even the gesture seems too small – but she was so appreciative, so grateful. Charles told me – “She says she will never be able to thank you enough, she will never forget how generous you were.” As part of giving the donation we both put our hands on the shirts, raised them above our heads, then she put on the shirt. That ceremony symbolizes the act of giving, acknowledgment that the gifts are now hers, and in the end we are friends and we hug.

Many thanks to my family for their unconditional support.

Picture: Me and Halfani’s grandmother, in one of her new shirts!

Dalla-Dalla Adventures

How many people can you fit inside a van? Bagamoyo dalla-dallas (vans) might be pushing for the Guinness Book of World Records on this one! I was heading to Dar es Salaam Sunday to meet a friend, and found a comfortable seat in a dalla-dalla and waited for us to depart. Every seat was taken and one person was standing as we pulled away from the Bagamoyo bus station.

That doesn’t sound so bad but on our way we kept picking up passengers. At one point there were 15 people standing – not counting the ones sitting, which including the driver totaled another 15. 30 people in a van – it was nuts! Of course the dalla-dalla doesn’t go straight to Msasani peninsula, which was where I was headed so I had to change to different dalla-dallas – TWICE! This was also exciting because by the last dalla-dalla I was out of change so I had to give the driver 10,000 Tzh. For a 250 Tzh. Ride!

I am proud to say though I averted any scams and didn’t get lost – and I got to Dar es Salaam for less than 2,000 Tzh. (1.50 USD)!!!

Picture: a CCS van that is the same size as a dalla-dalla – yes 30 people in this size van!

Traditional Drumming & Dancing

Saturday night I headed with my friend Matiga and several volunteers to the Art College for a concert – several groups from Dar es Salaam, Kilimanjaro, Dodoma, and Tanga were performing traditional African drumming and dance.

I can’t wait till I get the chance to post videos – descriptions can’t do it justice! The performances were amazing, from the costumes to the rhythms to the dancers! I was incredibly impressed with how vibrant the culture is and how valuable it is to keep traditional drumming and dance alive.

Most of the performances included drums, marimbas, and rattles. The last group also had an electric guitar (I’m thinking not traditional, but a modern twist). The dancers were spectacular – I don’t know how they get their hips to move so fast while still moving their feet to the drum rhythms! Their personalities really shone while dancing – huge smiles, incredible athleticism and endurance, and genuinely appearing to have fun!

Picture: One of the groups that performed at the Art College

Halfani's Story

Halfani is a little boy who was born with HIV. Both of his parents died from AIDS and he now lives under the care of his grandmother (his mother’s mother). He is 6 years old and bright and charismatic with a beautiful smile. The grandmother is old and sick, it is hard for her to work. At her age after years of hard labor traditionally she would be taken care of by her children but all her children have died. Halfani, her one grandchild, is now in her care so she works hard and raises him on her own.

The house they live in is a very hard living situation. It is one room barely big enough for a twin size bed. A dirty mosquito net ridden with holes hangs above the bed and cooking pots line one of the walls. Outside there is a porch which serves as a makeshift living room, one torn up couch and a chair that’s only remnants are the frame and springs line the wall. The grandmother has only scraps of congas so she is often pulling them up to cover her chest.

We have brought the grandmother a mosquito net and we are going to help her clean this one. Additionally, we are going to bring her shirts so she will be covered and then can wear the congas as skirts. The boy we bring him little things like food – he gets additional care from a center in town, and he goes to primary school. Mostly Charles checks to make sure the grandmother is remembering to give the boy his medication. She forgets many times, and this is not good because if medication is not consistent it’s not effective.

Halfani is a sweet boy and proof to me that with the right care, HIV does not have to be a death sentence. He is living a life where he goes to school and can have a future. All people with HIV should be living lives of dignity and meaning.

Picture: Halfani at the entrance to his house

The Triplets' Story

This was one of the most heartbreaking home visits I’ve been on. I met triplets – 3 boys – who do not have HIV but are labeled as “vulnerable children.” They look alike – David, Kennedy, and Kevin – and although they will be 2 in November, they did not look more than 6 months old because they are so small and malnourished. When Charles and I arrived at the house they were crawling around naked in the front yard in the dirt – no clothes on, no diapers, with dirt in their eyes and on their bottoms.

The reason they are vulnerable is that their mother does not take care of them. All day she goes and uses money to do her hair and things, while their older siblings watch after them. They are badly malnourished. I learned from Charles that there was a 4th baby – they were originally quadruplets – there was a girl baby Catherine. When she was 10 months old she died from malaria and diarrhea. By the time her mother took her to the hospital, it was too late.

The triplets look very much alike even though they are fraternal. They cry but mostly are not attended to. When we got there we helped dress them – Charles has donated to the mother little clothes, but if she doesn’t dress them then often they crawl around with nothing on. Next week we will bring some fruit to help balance their diet, and also some toys for them to play with because they have nothing except the dirt in their yard.

It was very sad, it was hard not to cry. But I try to remember that I’m here to learn, and to provide what little help I can to improve their lives and give them hope.

Picture: The triplets all in a row, all with the same bewildered expression!

About My Afternoon Placement

In the afternoons I am back to volunteering at UKUN, a local NGO specializing in HIV/AIDS patient home care. UKUN is run by Charles, a local Bagamoyo man fluent in Swahili and English. The organization focuses on outreach to people with HIV in the community and seeing that they are taking medication, evaluating if they are receiving proper nutrition, and providing services and assistance when possible.

Charles is a fantastic person who truly cares about people with HIV and vulnerable children who may have parents with HIV. My work with him in the afternoon usually starts around 2:00 and we ride his motorcycle around town making visits to homes UKUN has identified. Charles is the project manager of UKUN and the organization receives funding indirectly from USAID through Tunajali, a regional NGO.

I will be starting to post stories about the people I’m encountering on these visits, as well as photos. I want to share their stories because each one is so unique but reflects broader social and cultural problems in Bagamoyo and Tanzania. I find these people to be beautiful and surprisingly content and at peace with their situations. What help is provided they appreciate immensely.

Picture: Charles during one of our home visits

Corporal Punishment

This is a hard post to write – a hard thing to think about, much less observe. Corporal punishment is technically outlawed in Tanzania but it still happens – it’s when teachers are allowed to discipline students physically by hitting them, usually with a stick or ruler. There have been a few instances in my class, as the teacher knows I disagree he refrains most of the time from using it.

One time that was particularly bothersome to me was during exams and Mariam, one of my sweet girls, did not know how to write “simba” but she knew that the picture was a lion. My teacher was frustrated I think, and so he told her to put out her palm and he whipped it with a stick 3 times. She cried. I cried. It was terrible. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of message that sends about education – get it right or be hit?

Another case was this week, when 3 of my students forgot their notebooks. Well I believe that Paulo and Pascali (my twins that both forgot) didn’t bring their books because the day before at school the plastic bag they carry their books in broke. My teacher whipped each student’s palm 3 times with the stick (I guess that’s the typical corporal punishment penalty, at least at my school). Then they were all sent home and told to return when they had their books. This made me quite angry – these kids are only 5 years old and they walk to school alone – they aren’t grown-ups and they’re going to forget things. All 3 boys cried – Paulo, Pascali, and Haridi – then headed home. An hour later Paulo and Pascali returned, carrying the broken bag with school supplies in it. Haridi didn’t return until today.

Lastly, today was another use of corporal punishment. This time, Ramadhan and a boy from another class (not sure of the name) were I guess playing at the beach when they got mad at each other, and Ramadhan kicked the boy so hard he scraped his skin and he was bleeding. The boy cried and Ramadhan was punished – again 3 whips with the stick on his palm. Then Ramadhan cried. I couldn’t help but think, no wonder the kids hit each other, they are learning that from the teachers.

Physical punishment shouldn’t be the answer but it’s clear why it is. There is a lack of social norms surrounding expectation of education and so while maybe parents let their kids go to school they don’t have the same expectations of performance. Many schools in Bagamoyo are funded by NGOs and outside organizations, there are few (if any that I know of) that are self-sustaining: the remaining schools are government-run. Physical punishment also yields immediate results and the kids fear the teachers. Whereas for students to be good without physical punishment the process is longer, less concrete, and definitely less easy. Lastly, physical punishment is also used by parents so you can see how it is socially acceptable – parents use it at home, teachers use it at school.

Is it any wonder, though, why kids in Tanzania hit each other more than kids in America? That is how they learn to express anger and frustration.

My little kids are little people!

I really have gotten the impression from my kids here in Africa that they are like little adults – forced to grow up so fast. Kids in Bagamoyo – and Tanzania – walk sometimes miles to school – alone. When I was 4 years old I don’t think I played outside alone, much less walked miles to school by myself!

One of my students, Nashfat, had been absent at school for about a month. Thursday she came with her mom and her mom was explaining why. Apparently her baby teeth aren’t falling out but her other teeth are growing in anyway – so she’s had several removed. No novacaine and cotton gauze in her mouth. It just broke my heart because she was so tough – not crying or anything. But when I scooped her up in my arms she just laid her little head down on my shoulder and lightly clutched my shirt. I cannot even express the amount of love I felt at that moment for my little Nashfat! I just adore these kids they are the light in my life.

Today on my UKUN home visits I happened to pass 4 of my kids! I hear them shout “Dana” (but it sounds like DEENA) and they come running up to me and Charles on the motorcycle! Nashfat was one of them and she ran so fast and just lept up into my arms! I also saw Ramadhan, Abdul, and Haridi today. A lot of my kids leave in the areas most affected by HIV and AIDS so it’s not surprising that I saw them – I guess I should expect that to happen more and more!

So my life is back to normal – I get to Anglican daycare around 7:45am and I stay till noon. I have lunch at CCS then I do UKUN home visits from 2:00-5:00. Then dinner at CCS, maybe internet and to a bar for a drink. I bike to Anglican and UKUN which is great, I feel part of the community and I really feel like I live here. Thanks everyone for the support of my decision to stay a few more weeks! I really feel like I’m making a difference!

Picture: Me and little Nashfat!